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Good old Frank — Frank Feldman


A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi passing by.  As he gets into the taxi, the cabbie says, "Perfect timing.  You’re just like Frank."

"Who?"

"Frank Feldman... he’s a guy who did everything right all the time.  Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."

Feeling like the cabbie was getting a bit too effusive over this Frank Feldman guy, the passenger replied, "There are always a few clouds over everyone."

"Not Frank Feldman.  He was a terrific athlete.  He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis.  He could golf with the pros.  He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star.  And you should have heard him play the piano!  He was an amazing guy."

"Sounds like he was somebody really special," the passenger replied.

"Oh hell, there’s more!  He had a memory like a computer.  He remembered everybody’s birthday.  He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat it with.  And he could fix anything.  Not like me — I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out.  But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."

"Wow, some guy then," the passenger said.

Frank, he always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams.  Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them.  But Frank, he never made mistakes, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good.  He would never argue back, even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished, too.  He was the perfect man!  I never knew him to make a mistake!  No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

"Wow.  Sounds like an amazing fellow.  How did you meet him?"

The cabbie replied, "Well... I never actually met Frank.  He died... and I married his wife."


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