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The F-ing Putt!

A man goes in to confession and says, "Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned."  The priest asks if he would like to confess his sins and the man replies that he used the "F-word" over the weekend.


The priest says, "Oh okay, just say three Hail Marys and try to watch your language."

The man replies that he would like to confess as to why he said the "F-word". The priest sighs and tells him to continue.

"Well, father, I played golf on Sunday with my buddies instead of going to church."

The priest says, "And you got upset over that and swore?"

The man replied, "No, that wasn't why I swore.  On the first tee I duck-hooked my drive well to the left and into the trees."

The priest said, "And that's when you swore."

The man replied, a little testily because of the constant interruptions, "No, it wasn't.  When I walked up the fairway, I noticed my ball got a lucky bounce and I had a clear shot to the green.  However, before I could hit the ball, a squirrel ran by and grabbed my ball and scurried up a tree."

"Is that when you said the 'F-word'?"

"No," the man said, "because an eagle flew by and caught the squirrel in its sharp talons and flew away."

The priest let out a breath and queried, "Is that when you swore?"

The man replied, "No, because the eagle flew over the green and the dying squirrel let go of my golf ball and it landed within 5 inches of the hole."

The priest screamed, "Don’t tell me you missed the F-ing putt!"

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