Ireland declares WAR on France

Nicolas Sarkozy, The President of France, is sitting in his office when his phone rings.

"Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy McCraic down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland.  I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring war on ye!"

"Well, Paddy," Sarkozy replies, "I don’t know how you got the number, but this is indeed important news!  How big is your army?"

"Right now," says Paddy, after a moment’s calculation, "there is meself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub.  That makes eight!"

Sarkozy paused.  "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Begoora!" says Paddy.  "I’ll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again.  "Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on.  We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Paddy?" Sarkozy asks.

"Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy’s farm tractor," answers Paddy.

Sarkozy sighs.  "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers.  Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke."

"Saints preserve us!" says Paddy.  "I’ll have to get back to you."

Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day.  "Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on!  We have managed to get ourselves airborne!  We have modified Jackie McLaughlin’s ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"

Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat.  "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes.  My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites.  And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"

"Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I’ll have to ring you back."

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day.  "Top o’ the mornin’, Mr. Sarkozy!  I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."

"Really?  I am sorry to hear that," says Sarkozy.  "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few jars of Guinness, and decided there is no fooking way we can feed 200,000 prisoners."

(If you have a joke to share, please send it to me.)