Dog Talk
Lab Gab

So these three dogs meet up at the vet’s — a chocolate lab, a black lab, and a yellow lab.  After the usual doggie greetings (growling, tail waggings, butt sniffings), the chocolate lab says to the black lab, "What’re you here for?"

"Well," he said, "I’m a pee-er.  I just can’t help myself.  Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing it.  Potted plants, table legs, whatever.  I just lift me leg, and out it comes.  The other day, I peed on my master’s new slacks.  So that’s why I’m here."

"He was in the slacks?"

"Yep.  I overheard him talking to the vet.  I think they’re going to give me Prozak.  Maybe that’ll help.  What’re you here for?"

"Well," replied the chocolate lab, "I’m a chewer.  I just can’t help myself.  I love to chew.  Toys, sticks, newspapers, shoes.  If I can get it in my mouth, I chew it.  So that’s why I’m here.  I think they’ll give me Prozak, too."

He looked over at the yellow lab.  "What’re you here for?"

"Well ..." he said. "I’m a humper.  I just can’t help myself.  I see it, I hump it.  The other day, my master was just getting out of the shower.  She had a towel wrapped around her, and she bent over to pick something up and ... well ... I just couldn’t help myself.  So that’s why I’m here."

"So," asked the Chocolate lab, "you think they’ll give you Prozak, too?""Nope ... I’m just here to get my nails clipped."