Dog Talk
or
Lab Gab
So these three dogs meet up at the vet’s — a chocolate lab, a black lab, and a yellow lab. After the usual doggie greetings (growling, tail waggings, butt sniffings), the chocolate lab says to the black lab, "What’re you here for?"
"Well," he said, "I’m a pee-er. I just can’t help myself. Sometimes I don’t even realize I’m doing it. Potted plants, table legs, whatever. I just lift me leg, and out it comes. The other day, I peed on my master’s new slacks. So that’s why I’m here."
"He was in the slacks?"
"Yep. I overheard him talking to the vet. I think they’re going to give me Prozak. Maybe that’ll help. What’re you here for?"
"Well," replied the chocolate lab, "I’m a chewer. I just can’t help myself. I love to chew. Toys, sticks, newspapers, shoes. If I can get it in my mouth, I chew it. So that’s why I’m here. I think they’ll give me Prozak, too."
He looked over at the yellow lab. "What’re you here for?"
"Well ..." he said. "I’m a humper. I just can’t help myself. I see it, I hump it. The other day, my master was just getting out of the shower. She had a towel wrapped around her, and she bent over to pick something up and ... well ... I just couldn’t help myself. So that’s why I’m here."
"So," asked the Chocolate lab, "you think they’ll give you Prozak, too?""Nope ... I’m just here to get my nails clipped."