70 Year Old Pirate - Arrrgh!
A 70 year old pirate decides to have a medical checkup. At the doctor’s office, the aide says: "First, we have to take a medical history. Let’s start with the easy stuff first, like... I see you’re missing a leg."
"Arrrgh! Let me tell you about me leg! It was a wailin’ and a galein’; I had to climb up into the riggin’ to cut down the main sheet. A rope caught me leg, pulled it clean off. I put this peg on and it’s served me ever since!"
"Wow, you’ve lived a colorful life! Ah...and I see you’re missing a hand..."
"Arrgh! Let me tell you about me hand! We’d taken over a rich frigate. The first mate was right good with a sword. We fought back and forth across the poop deck. He cut off me hand, but I pierced him through the heart, and we took the gold! I put this hook on and it’s served me ever since!"
"My god! What a life! And I see you have a patch over your eye..."
"Arrgh! Let me tell you about me eye! I was in the crow’s nest, spyin’ for land when a pigeon flew over and shat (pooped) in me eye!"
"I’ve never heard about pigeon poop being so toxic!"
"Arrgh! But it was the first day I had me hook!"
from Erik Hoffman, Oakland, CA,
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