⇐ Back to Poem-of-the-Month

70 Year Old Pirate - Arrrgh!


A 70 year old pirate decides to have a medical checkup.  At the doctor’s office, the aide says: "First, we have to take a medical history.  Let’s start with the easy stuff first, like... I see you’re missing a leg."

"Arrrgh!  Let me tell you about me leg!  It was a wailin’ and a galein’; I had to climb up into the riggin’ to cut down the main sheet.  A rope caught me leg, pulled it clean off.  I put this peg on and it’s served me ever since!"

"Wow, you’ve lived a colorful life!  Ah...and I see you’re missing a hand..."

"Arrgh!  Let me tell you about me hand!  We’d taken over a rich frigate.  The first mate was right good with a sword.  We fought back and forth across the poop deck.  He cut off me hand, but I pierced him through the heart, and we took the gold!  I put this hook on and it’s served me ever since!"

"My god!  What a life!  And I see you have a patch over your eye..."

"Arrgh!  Let me tell you about me eye!  I was in the crow’s nest, spyin’ for land when a pigeon flew over and shat (pooped) in me eye!"

"I’ve never heard about pigeon poop being so toxic!"

"Arrgh!  But it was the first day I had me hook!"

from Erik Hoffman, Oakland, CA,

If you have a joke to share, please send it to me.